Archives for #letsclearthecloud

Low Self-esteem

Low Self-esteem... I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem and regularly felt down, often thinking anything negative that happened to me was because I’m a bad person who deserves it. In November 2017 my wife and I went for a 20-week scan for our 3rd baby, we happily discussed names on the way there and we wanted to find out the gender this time, we hadn’t when she was expecting our 2 boys. We got to the hospital and it was all routine but then the scan was taking ages, repeated measurements of the head, I knew something wasn’t right. Then
Read More

Looking back over my minds shoulder

Looking back over my mind's shoulder **TRIGGER WARNING** narrative includes references to self-harm and suicide. The mental illness got stronger as I got older, as a kid it’s mental, just a fun game that made every day different, never the same, Yes, I was a loner in my perfect place Sometimes imagining I was in out of this space, Am I a cowboy with a stick gun I was mental, but it was just fun, They called me names, said it was weird but I was just being me so who cared, Sometimes the pain of being strange and the
Read More

Bipolar

Bipolar My story is I found out I was bipolar 7/8 years ago I went through an extremely bad marriage, there was a lot of domestic violence and a lot of mental abuse we were together for 11 years I've got three beautiful daughters 18, 15 and 13 I am a single mum I take a lot of medication I am now stable bipolar. I thought I'd send you my story as I would like to help people like a friend does because the thing is with bipolar if you can do the head work with the medication it does
Read More

Don’t Suffer in Silence…

Don't Suffer in Silence... I’ve always had a problem from a child being bullied but struggled, through never telling anybody.  It was hard, I came from a large strong family, so I felt I had to cope with this on my own.  It was not until I found out years ago, I had cognitive behavioural problems for which I had therapy for .  Last year I went through a period of feeling worthless, ugly and not looking at the world to be a good place to be.  I was not bothered about been here anymore, I struggled to cope and
Read More

Poetry in motion…

unsplash-logoEduardo Olszewski #letsclearthecloud I was always different growing up, some could ask me how but I didn't have those answers. I started to develop panic attacks, from age seventeen, they then led into agoraphobia and I didn't want to leave my house or nothing.  All of a sudden one day the feelings stopped and I was back to living a normal life. Then again I fell back into the trap of having the same problems at the age of twenty one, twenty two/  I have now unfortunately developed anxiety again and agoraphobia, My verdict on this problem is this, we are not all the
Read More

Very Weird…

unsplash-logoJason Leung I was 23 when things started getting very weird. I had had a happy childhood, did well at school and uni. I had a graduate job abroad when I started having strange thoughts and bizarre delusions. I couldn’t sleep and had endless energy. I never felt like eating, my weight had dropped to 6 stone. I was very confused. I remember looking at my face in a shop window and thinking to myself, I couldn't possibly go home like this! My family would be so upset and worried!  I saw a plane fly over and I wished I
Read More

Bipolar

unsplash-logoAlex Iby I suffer with severe bipolar disorder. I have suffered for years and in my early life it just seemed to my family I was just emotional. As my life went on, I went through 4 traumas that progressed my illness and escalated my condition rapidly ...an illness that was always there and my family ignored even after what happened to me. I don’t blame these 4 situations for my illness I believe I have always had this and the 4 situations that happened to me around the age of 12 was what fuelled my illness. As a bipolar
Read More

My father passed away…

unsplash-logoi yunmai 7 years ago my father passed away, he had his highs and lows. Everyone loved his highs, he was funny and full of life, but then came the lows. During his passing he was in a depressed state, he turned his phone off as he usually did and by the time we got there it was too late. I was always told ‘your just like your father’ it was 3 years after his passing  (I was 38) that I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. It was only because of this diagnosis that we realised my father had
Read More

Racing motorcycles…

unsplash-logoGarry Neesam I’m a 53-year-old male.  All my life from a very young age I was different to most kids, very inward and the odd one out, back then I thought it was just me and the way I had been brought up. This went on until I was about 16 where drinking came a past time because it made me feel good and confident.  This stayed with me for many years and had lots of negative effects, failed business, and 2 failed relationships.  This pattern continued until October last year, as normal I woke up in the middle of
Read More

My story began in 1977…

My story began in 1977 when I was just 5 years old. I can recall the day very well when my Father returned home from work and lost his temper with me for letting my pet escape from its cage, said pet was found safe and well, unfortunately the same could not be said for me.  My father beckoned me over to him and broke a wooden broom across the front of my right leg hurting me badly in the process.  Over the years that followed I suffered terrible physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my father who was a very
Read More