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September 2018

Social Anxiety & Depression

From being a young child I had social anxiety and depression since my Dad left and my Grandad died I struggled in my teens too with suicidal thoughts and then got in the wrong crowd drinking smoking and eating junk and I got in a bad relationship which was abusive and violent. I developed terrible bad panic attacks and I had to leave my full-time job and couldn’t cope. I went back to my mum’s, but my siblings and some friends didn’t understand and thought I was over reacting or weird and I fell into a terrible depression and couldn’t go out and was always at the doctor’s or A&E and developed health anxiety and OCD where I was always worrying about germs and illnesses.

For the next few years I moved away went to college and uni with mentor support to study art; I also got into exercise and boxing and talking out for Time to Change Charity. I met Frank at an event and he inspired me. I now have a daughter and never want her to go through the nightmare. I have and run my own art sessions as an alternative path to education and I volunteer at a local art gallery and other places helping others with their mental health.

I am still into boxing and walking and trying to get into jogging again, I try encouraging my daughter to do same things keeping fit and healthy. I try to manage anxiety and low moods the best I can. I have finally come of medicine after eight years and it’s hard but I’m taking each day as it comes life’s never going to be easy and I am always going to be a sensitive person but that’s me, I feel love, laughter, fear, pain, happiness and sadness and that’s ok I am a human being. I am learning to love me for all my complexities and hopefully receiving the same in life from positive people around me love and peace.